Gibbs' rules
by Partners In Fanfic
Summary: Collection of hopefully funny oneshots about Gibbs' rules and why they should be followed. Rated T for minor language in some oneshots.
1. Never Let Suspects Stay Together

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ANYTHING INVOLVING IT. How sad.**_

_Hey everyone!_

_EAJP here. This will be my collection of NCIS oneshots based on Gibbs' rules. I know, some of them aren't that good, but, I can try. They'll be short, too, but oh well._

_KWY doesn't really know about NCIS, so she'll be beta-ing for me for awhile until she watches more NCIS. Read and enjoy!_

_**Never Let Suspects Stay Together ---Rule 1**_

_**Kate**__: I may not know the finer points of investigating, like sticking needles in liver and measuring swimsuit models, but I do know enough to hold the stewards who prepared and served the President's lunch.  
__**Gibbs**__: Hum. Okay.  
__**Kate**__: You want to question them?  
__**Gibbs**__: No, they're not going anywhere, and we've got a crime scene to investigate. Rule Number One. Never let suspects stay together.  
__**Kate**__: Well, I didn't consider them suspects.  
__**Gibbs**__: Then why'd you hold them?_

Gibbs stalked out of the elevator, coffee cup in hand – his sixth of the day, and it was only 11 AM. He opened his mouth to say something, but realized only McGee was in the team area.

"McGee!" he barked.

"Yeah, Boss?" McGee glanced up from his computer and glanced around nervously for no apparent reason.

"Where's Dinozzo and Ziva?"

"Well, uh, you see Boss, uh…" McGee became flustered and started to stutter.

"McGee! It's not a trick question!" Gibbs glared at him.

"They're in the interrogation viewing room." McGee put his head down and continued to work, but decided to follow Gibbs as he walked away.

Muffled shouts could be heard as Gibbs and McGee neared the interrogation room. Gibbs glared and proceeded to throw open the door to the viewing room, where Ziva and Tony were standing, gaping open-mouthed at the scene in front of them.

Two suspects were in the room, throwing whatever objects they could get their hands on, which wasn't much. "I hate you!!!" the woman screamed, lunging across the table at the man.

"Hate me?! I hate you more!!!" He dodged her blows and ran to a corner of the room.

This scene continued, and with each word, Gibbs' face darkened. He took a few steps forward and stood between Tony and Ziva as they were talking.

"What should we do?" Tony asked Ziva, but instead Gibbs answered.

"Go in there," he stated. Both Ziva and Tony froze in their places, not daring to turn around.

The braced themselves for the inevitable headslap, which of course came. _Whack._ Gibbs' hand collided with the back of their heads.

"Rule number one. Never let suspects stay together."

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**_Alright, now that you've read, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! _**

**_Please don't be too harsh. I'm trying. _**

**_Any suggestions? Just write 'em in the reviews._**

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	2. Never Screw Over Your Partner

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT. It would be really cool if I did, though._**

_EAJP here. Here's the other rule number 1. I'm trying to keep all the characters' personalities as close to how they are on the show as I can, but sorry if they seem slightly OOC. _

_Read and enjoy!_

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Never Screw Over Your Partner

--- Rule 1

_**Gibbs: **__Rule number one supersedes all the others._

_**Jenny: **__Never screw your partner?_

_**Gibbs:**__ Never screw __**over**__ your partner._

The team was on their latest case, which led Tony and McGee to have to work together on a lead in a resort town. Of course, to McGee's misfortune, it was the middle of summer – which meant college girls half naked. The only reason he truly went was so that Gibbs wouldn't yell at him.

Ziva, on the other hand, was quite happy that she got to spend part of the day going through evidence with Abby. The Goth was a great person to be around, especially when Tony wasn't there to interrupt conversations.

"Ziva, where's Tony and McGee?" Abby looked up from her mass-spectrometer.

"They are in some resort town following up on a lead," Ziva replied.

"Aw, poor McGee," Abby said.

"Yes, with Tony and a resort town, everything could go to hell and a hand bucket," Ziva said seriously.

Abby tilted her head to the side, pondering over what idiomatic mistake Ziva made. "Ah! You mean hell _in_ a hand _basket_."

"Yes, that is what I meant." Ziva waved her hand dismissively, "You Americans and your stupid sayings that make no sense."

"Oh sure, blame _us_ for _your_ lack of comprehension," Abby teased, smirking at Ziva.

"Well it is true!" Ziva protested, but laughed and headed toward the elevator with Abby.

They stepped off the elevator and into the team's area, where Gibbs was nowhere to be found, probably on yet another coffee run.

Abby started punching keys on Gibbs' keyboard as Ziva sat down at her desk. Right as they were about to start their conversation again, Tony and McGee walked out of the elevator evidently pissed off at each other.

"Dinozzo! Seriously!" McGee exclaimed, brushing off his jacket which had mysteriously gotten wet. In fact, _all_ of McGee seemed to be wet.

"I would ask, McGee, but I am not sure I want to know," Ziva pointed out as Tony just threw his hands up and sat down at his desk.

"Aww, what happened McGee?" Of course, Abby had to come to his rescue.

"Tony! Tony happened! He, of _course,_ had to go off and follow some girl around because her ass looked good in a bikini!" McGee yelled, but Tony interrupted him.

"It wasn't just her ass McGee." Tony snickered at the sheer memory.

"WHATEVER!" McGee yelled back. Apparently, this really shook him up. "So he leaves me with this woman, who takes me to sit out by her pool so we can talk. And I start to question her, and she flips out on me! She throws things at me and accuses me of being a jerk, and then she shoves me into the pool!"

Ziva and Abby couldn't help but feel sorry for him, but they couldn't help my chuckle either. Ziva didn't want to say anything, but Abby walked over and punched Tony on the arm.

"Tony!" she chastised, "Aren't you forgetting rule numero uno?!"

Ziva glanced up perplexed. "Tony didn't let any suspects stay together, did he?"

"No, but he screwed over his partner." Everyone turned to see Gibbs walk into the room, coffee cup in hand. As he walked by, his hand collided with the back of Tony's head, making a loud _whack_ sound.

He walked right on through the office, mumbling about going to see Ducky, when he called over his shoulder, "McGee, _that_ is what you should never get married."

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**_Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter!_**

**_Hope you liked it! Now review please!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_I love reviews, seriously._**

**_Any suggestions? Write them in the reviews._**


	3. Always Wear Gloves at a Crime Scene

_**DISCLAIMER: NEITHER I NOR KWY OWN NCIS. HOW SAD.**_

_EAJP here. Here's an update....Sorry it took awhile, there's just so much to do during the week. I'm not entirely sure I like this one, but, it'll do. KWY isn't available for comment because, well...I really don't know. But, I digress. Read and Enjoy!!!!_

_BTW: Thanks to all those who have reviewed! It's greatly appreciated.  
_

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Always Wear Gloves at a Crime Scene --- Rule 2**_

_**Kate:**__ My fingerprints are all over this aircraft!_

_**Gibbs:**__ Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene._

"Alright, so we're not entirely _sure_ there's a dead body here, right, Boss?" Tony said as they approached a house that an anonymous tipper said might have a dead body in.

"Right, Tony." Gibbs looked annoyed. Although he hated anonymous tips, he never wanted to be _wrong_. That was just un-Gibbs-like.

McGee, who was also with them, drew his gun as they approached the door. After pounding on the door a few times, Gibbs gave Tony a nod and Tony proceeded to kick down the door.

The three men walked into the house, yelling, "Clear!" in each room, except the last room McGee checked.

"Ah, Boss?" McGee called over his shoulder.

"What McGee?" Gibbs walked in, gun drawn, followed by Tony. Immediately, their eyes drifted to the floor, where a man lay in a bloody puddle with a gunshot wound to the chest.

"Oh." Gibbs put his gun down and said, "Well, the anonymous tipper was right. Now, we have to find him." He started to walk out of the room to call Ducky and Abby, but stopped and turned around.

"You two, start collecting evidence."

"On it, Boss!" McGee and Tony replied in unison.

"McGeek, did you bring the gloves?" Tony looked up from searching in his bag.

"No, I thought you did."

"Well, I didn't Probalicious!"

"Well, uh, now what?" McGee had a look on his face that was between confusion and fear. Gibbs would tear into them when he found out they didn't have gloves.

"We have to wait for Ducky." Tony shrugged and started taking pictures.

Gibbs walked back into the room, finished with his phone calls. "Why aren't you bagging and tagging?" He looked annoyed to McGee, but then again, he did all the time.

"Well, uh, um, uh, you see, Boss," McGee stuttered hopelessly.

"McGee forgot the gloves, Boss," Tony replied, not, missing a beat.

"You mean, we come to see if there's a dead body, which might become a _crime scene_, and you don't bring gloves?!" Gibbs walked over and simultaneously gave both of them a headslap.

Tony winced. He hated making Gibbs mad, but he wasn't perfect. Anyway, he could just blame McGee for whatever bad happens.

"What's rule number two?" Gibbs said, addressing both of them.

"Well?" He was waiting for an answer, and getting more impatient by the second.

"Always wear gloves at a crime scene, Boss," they replied simultaneously.

"And where are you?"

"A crime scene." Tony and McGee looked at the floor, then at each other, and then at the floor again.

Gibbs once again smacked the back of their head and walked toward the door. He reached the doorway and turned around, giving them both a glare as he reached into his pockets.

He yanked out two pairs of latex gloves from his jacket pocket. "There, now do your jobs." He threw them at each agent and walked out the door, mumbling something about there not being enough coffee and bourbon in the world.

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_**Alright, it's review time! Please, please, please review!**_

_**I've run out of ideas for some of the rules. If anyone has any suggestions, I appreciate them!  
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	4. Don't Believe What You're Told

**_DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS TO NCIS GO TO THE WRITERS/PRODUCERS._**

_EAJP here. Here's another rule for ya. This one was fun to write. I still can't make these oneshots longer, but oh well, quality not quantity. KWY is still beta-ing for me, too. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

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_**Don't believe what you're told. Double check. --- Rule 3**_

_**Gibbs:**__ Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check._

_**Kate:**__ Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows? _

"McGee! McGeek! Probalicious!" Tony ran into the bullpen yelling. It was a slow day, no cases, and all the paperwork had been completed to Gibbs' liking, so Tony decided to cause mischief.

"What Tony?" McGee glanced around, hoping to find Ziva or Gibbs to save him, but no one was to be found. Ziva was talking with Ducky and Gibbs was in the Director's office doing God-only-knows what.

"I was talking with Abby," he said, sauntering over.

"Really, Tony?" Good for you." McGee ignored him and continued typing on his computer.

"She told me something, Mcloverboy." Tony smirked and leaned on the edge of his desk. "Bu-ut, since you don't want to know, I won't tell."

McGee stopped typing, praying that he wouldn't fall for whatever Tony was trying to pull, but this was Abby they were talking about – he just had to ask. "What did she tell you Tony?"

"Well, since you asked," Tony replied with a smile, "She told me that she likes you likes you. AND that she was hoping you would ask her on a date for this weekend."

McGee blushed. Abby wouldn't tell Tony that, would she? "Really?" he squeaked.

"Really. Go ask her!" Tony laughed and sat his desk.

All afternoon, McGee pondered what Tony told him as he struggled to either believe him or not. Finally, he got the courage to go down and ask Abby a different question.

He walked past Tony's desk giving him a smirk as Tony gave him a chuckle. He motioned to Ziva and they followed McGee to where he entered Abby's lab.

"Hey Abbs!" McGee said, walking in and giving her a smile.

"Hey Timmy!" Abby gave him a hug and a smile.

"Abbs, I have a question for you."

"Sure what is it?" Abby took a long sip from her Caf-Pow!

"Did you tell Tony that you liked me and wanted me to ask you out?"

Abby stopped slurping. "What?! No! McGee, I like you, but not like that!"

"I know!" he exclaimed, "But Tony told me that, so I thought I would double check."

"Hmph. When I see him I'm gonna –" Abby stopped and peered around McGee. "Look, there that little liar is!"

Abby and McGee took off after Tony and Ziva as they ran up the steps. They chased them to the bullpen, where they couldn't run any further.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed, taking no notice of Gibbs, who was standing directly behind the group.

"What?!" He didn't even attempt to back up.

"How dare you make up lies like that!" she yelled, punching him in the arm.

No sooner had he started to rub his arm than a hand collided with back of his head.

"Boss?" Tony winced and turned around.

"Well, McGee, looks like rule number three saved you. Good thing you double checked." He smirked his Gibbs-smirk and turned around, probably to get coffee, or bourbon, or both.

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_**Seriously, reviews are my favorite things to read write now.**_

_**I'm trying to do these rules in order, but if you want to see any rules done sooner, just let me know.  
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	5. Never Mess With a Marine's Coffee

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, OR WILL NOT, OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR THE INEVITABLE HEADSLAP.**_

_EAJP here. This one was REALLY fun to write. I can just see this happening in the show. KWY is not available for comment because she's off running around doing I don't know what. But, she'll be back and commenting soon._

_This chapter is for Abby's Twin, who said she likes this rule. And for pedomellonaminno and GOTHGIRLREID who wrote this rule in their suggestions._

_Read and enjoy!  
_

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Never Mess with a Marine's coffee, if you want to live --- Rule 23**_

_**Kate: **__Yeah, maybe next time you should remember Rule Twenty-Three.  
__**Tony:**__ Is that the one about not marrying a woman who eats more than you do?  
__**Hegarty:**__ You never mess with a Marine's coffee, if you want to live, Agent DiNozzo._

"Come on, Probie! It'll be fun!" Tony said as soon as Gibbs left the office for MTAC.

"Why don't you ask Ziva?" McGee replied more or less to himself.

For some time now, Tony had been wanting to switch Gibbs' coffee for decaf to see if he would notice or not. Abby immediately said no, claiming that, "I am the favorite and I want to stay that way." McGee and Ziva tried to tell him no, but he wouldn't take it.

"Good idea, McGoo! Hey Ziva –" Tony turned his attention to the Israeli sitting across from him.

"Don't even ask me, Tony, or I will kill you very slowly with my paperclip supply." She shot him a glare and continued to angrily type at her computer.

"That leaves _you_, McGee. So, will you?" Tony wasn't fazed by Ziva's rejection – she never partook in his schemes anyway.

"No, Tony, I will not. Do it yourself, it's your idea. Besides, you're _senior field agent_."

"Fine, I will." Tony crossed his arms, looking much like a three-year-old, and walked toward the break room to grab a cup of decaf coffee.

"I think Tony is forgetting about Rule 23," Ziva said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, either that, or he wants Gibbs to be in a bad mood for the rest of the week, or the year – or his life." McGee shuddered at the thought of Gibbs without his coffee. Gibbs without coffee was enough to make the devil himself run and hide.

Ziva chuckled. "In Israel, if we broke rules, we would be terminated. Too bad you do not do that here."

"If Tony really does mess with his coffee, you just may get to see that happen."

A few minutes later, Tony came back holding two cups. One was filled with decaf coffee, and the other one was empty, apparently so Tony would have something to dump the coffee into.

"I cannot believe you are doing that, Tony," Ziva stated, shaking her head.

"I can," McGee mumbled, earning a glare from Tony as he took the lid off of Gibbs' cup and dumped out the contents.

"It's just a little experiment," he said as he poured the decaf into the cup. "I'm throwing out the evidence, I'll be back." At the last part, he threw in a poor Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.

"Poor Tony. He will never live to date another girl." Ziva laughed and shook her head.

"Yep. He who messes with fire is sure to get burned," McGee replied.

"But Tony is not messing with fire. In fact, any kind of flame is not allowed in this building, yes?"

"Ziva, it's a – well, never mind. It means that when you mess with – ah forget it." McGee shook his head as Ziva mumbled something about stupid American idioms.

"What you talking about, McParty Pooper?" Tony walked back in with a Chesire Cat grin on his face.

"Nothing you should need to know about, Tony."

"Well, whatever. Here comes Gibbs now!" McGee and Ziva spun around to see Gibbs walking out of MTAC looking annoyed, which really didn't mean much.

McGee and Ziva held their breaths as Tony tried not to laugh. Gibbs came down the steps, and as suspected, headed straight for his beloved cup of coffee.

It looked as if McGee might faint as Gibbs raised the cup to his lips and took a long sip, only to almost spit it out when he got a taste of the decaf.

"What. Is. This." Gibbs more or less stated. "This. Is not. My. Coffee." His stare hardened and darkened, and it made almost everyone on the floor stop and stare.

"Which. One. Of. You. Messed. With. This." He continued to speak slowly and deliberately, icicles hanging off his words.

"Tony did, Boss," Ziva and McGee, fearful for their lives, immediately sacrificed him.

Tony's face paled, and he froze, not even trying to protest the other two agents giving him up.

Gibbs didn't say anything for the longest time. Then, his face twisted into an _extremely_ evil smirk that could give the Joker himself a run for his money. "Oh really," he said quietly, still smirking like the devil.

"In that case, DINOZZO! CONFERENCE ROOM. RIGHT NOW!" Gibbs roared, throwing the offending cup angrily in the garbage.

Tony shakily stood up and slinked toward the elevator, head hung low. At the sight of Gibbs, everyone who had previously stopped to watch the commotion began to hurriedly move around and look busy.

McGee and Ziva stood side by side as they watched Tony and Gibbs enter the elevator.

"We may never see Tony alive again," McGee said with a smirk.

"Dead man stalking, yes?" Ziva replied.

"Uh, dead man _walking_, but yeah, you're basically right. At least Tony knows not to mess with his coffee now."

Each agent shrugged and walked back to their desks to continue their work. As Ziva began typing, she could have sworn she heard an all-too-familiar _whack_ sound come from behind the elevator doors.

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_**Alright, you've read it. NOW REVIEW! (please ^^)**_

_**Once again, if you want any specific rule turned into a fic...just lemme know. I'll be glad to write one ^^  
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	6. It's Better to Seek Forgiveness

_**DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ITS PLOT...EVEN THOUGH I WISH I DID, I DON'T.**_

_EAJP here. For this one, I have to give most of the credit to KWY. She wrote the conversation part of it and I just filled in what she didn't do. Read and Enjoy!_

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It's Better to Seek Forgiveness Than Ask Permission – Rule 18**_

Tony stood in front of Gibbs' desk hopping from one foot to another. "Do you need to use the head or something Dinozzo?" Gibbs said without looking up.

Tony looked confused, but then shook his head. "No Boss, but can I?"

"Can you what?!" Gibbs looked up at him annoyed.

"Can I _please_ have the day off tomorrow?"

Gibbs looked at him incredulously. "And leave us shorthanded? I don't think so." He shook his head and continued to work, signaling the conversation as over.

"Yeah, I figured that would be the answer." Tony put his head down and headed to the lab to see Abby.

He saw the Goth sitting at her computer and walked over to lean against the edge of the desk. "Hey Abby."

"Hey Tony!" she squealed and jumped up to give him a hug. She broke away and cocked her head to the side.

"What's wrong, Tony?"

"Ah nothing. I asked Gibbs for the day off tomorrow and he said no."

"Aw, Tony!" Abby pulled him into another hug.

"I'm not even sure why I bothered to ask." Tony shrugged.

"You should just take the day off then."

Tony's head shot up. "But Gibbs would kill me!"

"You know there's a saying. It goes: I once prayed to God asking for a bike, but I quickly found that he didn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for His forgiveness instead," Abby replied.

"You know, that reminds me of this one kid I used to know. He would always steal my stuff and…" Abby began to ramble before she realized Tony was halfway out the door.

"Thanks Abbs! I owe ya a Caf-Pow!"Abby just smiled and went back to play her video game which she was currently whooping McGee's ass in.

Two days later, Tony came strutting into the office. Ziva and McGee glanced up at him, then quickly glanced down, not wanting to socialize with the rebel they call Tony.

"What's wrong guys?" Tony stood in between the two waiting for an answer.

"There isn't anything wrong, Dinozzo. They just know who to stay the hell away from." Gibbs had somehow managed to come and stand directly behind him, glaring at him all the while.

"Oh, uh, hey Boss," Tony stuttered.

"I thought I told you _not_ to take the day off." Gibbs cocked his head to the side, waiting for an answer.

"Well, Boss, you see, I really…" Tony trailed off to think. Then, suddenly a light bulb went off in his head.

"Boss, what happened to rule eighteen: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission?"

"First of all, you asked for permission first, and I turned you down. Second, _never_ throw rules back at my face. Who have you been taking lessons from, the Director?" Gibbs scoffed and stalked past him, but paused and turned around.

_Whack._ His hand collided with the back of Tony's skull. He walked out of the room and toward Abby's lab, muttering about almost forgetting to hit Dinozzo for that one.

Tony winced. "Wait, what does the Director have to do with anything?"

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**_Now that you've read, REVIEW!_**

**_I've been getting A LOT of positive reviews and KWY and I love it! Thanks to all of you who reviewed...and read =D  
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	7. Always Be Specific When You Lie

_**DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS OF NCIS GO TO WRITERS/PRODUCERS. NONE OF THEM BELONG TO ME**_

_EAJP here. This one was fun to write. I had trouble coming up with some movie references though. Anywayz, read and enjoy!_

Yea...(this is KWY)...WOOT. SUPPORT EAJP AND HER BRILLIANCE!!! I think...this is my favorite rule...Gibbs is awesome. And I've only seen him in action ONCE...RAWR GOTTA FIND SOME WAY TO WATCH THOSE EPISODES!

_**This story is for Kendall-Merritt who requested it. Sorry it took me a little while. Hope you like it =D **_

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_**Always Be Specific When You Lie --- Rule 7**_

_**Gibbs: **__Rule number seven: Always be specific when you lie._

Gibbs. Was. Pissed. Three words every agent – well, everyone – feared the most, especially when the heart of the problem was resting with the FBI with Agent Fornell at the head. The team had got a case, but Fornell was insistent on taking over the case. Gibbs couldn't hold him off much either, seeing as though they didn't have solid evidence it involved the Navy much at all.

"Where's Gibbs?" Ziva whispered to Tony and McGee, afraid that if she spoke louder, he might pop out from behind a wall and go headslap crazy.

"I think in the Director's office," McGee whispered back, afraid of the same thing.

"You know, every time Fornell comes around, it reminds me of _The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly_ with Clint Eastwood. You know, 'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'" Tony said, pretending to be a cowboy.

"Please, Tony, never do that again. Ever." Ziva shot him a glare and continued, "Gibbs is seeing blue as it is, we don't need you badly quoting movies."

"It's red, Zee-vah, red."

"Close enough."

"Hello, cowboys," Fornell walked into the team area holding a cup of coffee.

"Huh, how ironic. Right, Blondie?" McGee snorted.

"Shut up, McKilljoy," Tony shot back.

Fornell cleared his throat. "I hate to break up your argument, but I need you to hand over the case."

"No can do there, Fornell," Tony said walking around to lean on his desk. "Gibbs' case, Gibbs' rules."

"Then get me Gibbs." Fornell looked pissed now too.

"In a meeting. And we are not allowed to interrupt meetings." Ziva also stood up, looking dangerous.

Fornell rolled his eyes. "You have no solid evidence. You _have_ to hand it over to us."

"Actually, no we don't," McGee replied smartly, "Abby just sent me an email confirming the DNA that was at the crime scene did indeed belong to a Petty Officer. You know what that means; our case."

"You don't have any evidence, that can't be," Fornell cried in disgust.

"I do!"

"He does," Ziva and Tony replied, backing McGee up.

"See, look here." McGee pulled up a confirmation of DNA on the plasma.

"That proof enough for you?" Gibbs walked into the room, the devil-like smirk of evil on his ever-present on his face.

"I'll get you next time Gibbs." Fornell turned to leave.

"I'm sure you'll try," Gibbs shot back as he walked to his desk.

"So, McGee," Gibbs looked up from his computer, "Who is this petty officer?"

"Well, uh," McGee stuttered. His face reddened when he couldn't think of an answer.

"Petty Officer Josephine Brown," Abby said triumphantly, walking in holding DNA results. She looked at the plasma to see DNA results already there.

"Hey, what are those?"

"McGee said that was the proof the case was ours, but apparently it wasn't," Tony pointed out sitting back down.

"You made that up, McGee?" Ziva asked.

"Well, uh, yes." McGee put his head back down.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked. Poor Tim snapped to attention. "You remembered rule seven. Good job." He gave him an approving nod and stood up to get coffee.

"Rule seven?" Tony questioned.

"Always be specific when you lie." Gibbs smacked him upside the head. "Getting' coffee." He shook his head and walked out the door, smiling for the first time that day.

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**_It's Monday...Me and KWY need some reviews to cheer us up!  
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	8. Never Date a Coworker

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ITS PLOT SADLY.**_

_EAJP here. This one I wanted to make really nice, so I hope I did. This rule is one of my faves, too =D KWY is still unavailable for comment... but, she'll wanna say READ AND ENJOY!_

**_I would like to thank Kazza for the awesome review and the whole list of rules...I really appreciate it!_**

_**This story is for Kendall-Merritt. Also for pedomellonaminno. Hope you like it!**_

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Rule 12 --- Never Date a Coworker**_

_**Kate**__: So what happened?  
__**Tony**__: She broke into my apartment and filled my closet with dog crap.  
__**Kate**__: Ha! Really? I knew there was a reason I liked her.  
__**Tony**__: I still have her number. Maybe you two can get together and boil rabbits or something.  
__**Kate**__: Not my style, Tony. I would just shoot you.  
__**Gibbs**__: And that would be the reason for rule number twelve.  
__**Kate**__: Rule twelve?  
__**Gibbs**__: Never date a co-worker._

"Tony. Stop. Now." Ziva was sitting at her desk being bombarded with various flying things she had given up on trying to block. There were _supposed_ to be finishing paperwork from their last case, but Tony insisted on disrupting the peace.

"What am I doing so wrong, Ziva?" Tony asked innocently, folding his hands behind his head.

"Do not forget, Tony, I can kill you eighteen different ways with a paperclip." Ziva glared at him, but her phone began to vibrate so she looked down.

"TONY!" Ziva yanked out her knife and threw it at the wall behind Tony's head. "STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME!" Tony had thrown a wad of paper and hit her directly on the head.

"Yeah seriously, Tony. She's already broken three stress balls, a pen, and part of my keyboard." McGee looked up from trying to fix said keyboard with a disgruntled look on his face.

"Shut up, McGirly and stop whining. This isn't your conversation."

"Be nice to McGee!" Ziva said.

"And what if I'm not?" Tony really wanted to tempt fate today.

"Then.." _Whoosh._ A knife went sailing past Tony's head and stuck to the wall behind him.

Tony gulped. He hated when Ziva went Mossad on him and threw sharp objects. "Alright, enough said." He put down his head and continued to work.

"Thanks Ziva," McGee mouthed, earning a nod from the Israeli.

About a half hour later, Tony decided he had enough of doing paperwork so he started to annoy Ziva. Her phone had been buzzing nonstop, and he wanted to see who she was talking to – after all, he _is_ an investigator.

"Hey Zee-vah!" he exclaimed, walking toward her desk. "Who you been talking to these past few hours?" Without giving her time to respond, he probably made the biggest mistake of his life – he snatched it off her desk.

Ziva's hand automatically shot out to grasp his wrist as he backed up toward his desk. "Give me my phone back _now_," she said in a deathly quiet voice.

"I just want to see what you've been doing!" Tony broke free of her hand and walked away.

"Tony I am warning you!" Ziva ran around and stood in front of him.

"Or what?" Tony dismissed her and began to go through her phone. "Let's see here…"

"Argh!" Ziva yelled as she leapt deftly on top of him and pinned him down on the ground.

"Eek! Ziva!" Tony squirmed underneath her, trying to break out of her grasp.

"Tony, you WILL give me my phone," she whispered into his ear seductively. Tony could only manage a nod.

Just as Ziva was about to take her phone back, Gibbs walked in – and wished he hadn't.

"David! Dinozzo! I don't care what you think you're doing, just stop playing grab-ass!" Gibbs shouted.

"Sorry Boss!" Ziva and Tony said in unison as they stood up and brushed themselves off.

Gibbs shook his head and set his coffee down. _Whack._ His hand collided with the back of their heads.

"Rule twelve. _Never_ date a coworker. Or play grab-ass when I'm around, but that's a different story."

Tony opened his mouth to protest, but gave it a second thought and shut it again.

_Whack._ Gibbs' hand collided with the back of their heads again.

"What was that for?" Ziva asked, rubbing her head.

"Interrupting my coffee."

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**_


	9. Never Go Anywhere Without a Knife

_**DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN NCIS, SADLY. NOR DO WE OWN THE CHARACTERS.**_

_EAJP I haven't updated in awhile. I've been crazy busy. So has KWY. I mean, we had like, work up to our ears. But anyway, I digress. Here's another chapter for you guys to read. I'm sorry it took such a long time, but, it's here now =D Read, enjoy, AND REVIEW!  
_

**_This chapter is for Abby's Twin, who said she would like this, and for pedomellonaminno for mentioning it in the reviews =D. Hope you two enjoy!!!!_**

_**

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Rule 9 --- Never Go Anywhere Without a Knife**_

_**Gibbs**__: DiNozzo, where's my bullet?  
__**Tony**__: Hopefully in this box or the wall behind it. Got your knife on you, boss?  
__**Gibbs**__: Rule number nine.  
__**Gibbs/Kate**__: Never go anywhere without a knife.  
__**Tony**__: You sure about that? I thought nine was never ask a girl her weight on the first date.  
__**Kate**__: Well, that depends entirely on whether you want a second one or not, Tony._

"Where is Tony?" Ziva asked McGee one Monday morning. "He usually is not late, er, _this_ late."

"I don't know, but he better get here soon, or else Boss isn't going to be happy," McGee replied.

"So, you're implying I _am_ happy sometimes, McGee?" Gibbs walked in carrying his signature cup of coffee.

"Uh, no Boss. I mean, yes…Uh, shutting up now, Boss." McGee shook his head and turned back to his computer, while Gibbs smirked and sat down.

"Where's Tony?" he asked impatiently.

"That is a good question, Gibbs," Ziva replied.

"You don't know?" Gibbs questioned.

"No," Ziva replied, "But McGee and I will find out."

"Uh, right we will." McGee turned to Ziva, waiting to see if Tony would answer his phone.

"He is not answering his cell or his house phone, but his cell phone is on. McGee, can you get GPS location?" Ziva stood up and walked over to McGee's desk.

"Yep, hold on." He punched a few numbers on the keyboard and a GPS location came up on the screen.

"Well, that's strange," McGee muttered more to himself than anyone else.

"What is it?" Ziva asked, striding over to see what McGee was mumbling about.

"His phone is in his house, and it's on, but he's not answering."

A look of worry briefly passed through Ziva's features, but she quickly caught herself and looked at Gibbs. "McGee and I will go check it out."

McGee went to grab the car keys from Tony's desk, but Ziva beat him to it. "I am driving, McGee."

He looked at Gibbs with a desperate hope, but Gibbs just shook his head and pointed to the elevator.

McGee sulked as he walked to the elevator. As the door closed behind him and Ziva, Gibbs heard him mutter, "I'm going to kill you Tony – if I don't die first." Gibbs smirked and shook his head – if McGee didn't kill Tony, he sure would, or at least pretend he would.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Tony! Are you in there?!" McGee was pounding on the door to Tony's apartment, trying to get an answer. "Still nothing."

Ziva held her hand up. "Shh! Do you hear that?" McGee put his ear to the door.

"No. Remember which one of us has the super sensitive hearing."

"It is muffled. We need to go in there." Ziva pulled a bobby pin out of her hair and set to work on picking the lock on his door. "Ah open!" She exclaimed less than ten seconds later.

Both agents drew their weapons as McGee opened the door and walked in.

"There it is again!" Ziva exclaimed as they heard a muffled noise coming from the direction of the bedroom area.

"I hear it this time!" McGee exclaimed, "Let's go!"

They approached the door and heard another muffled noise, followed by a _thump_. Ziva flung open the door to reveal Tony bound and gagged. His hands were tied to the headboard and his feet were tied together at the ankles. All he was wearing was his boxers.

Ziva and McGee took one look at their coworker and doubled over in laughter. Tony tried to say

something to them, but settled on a glare when he realized it wouldn't work.

Ziva straightened up from her laughter and walked over, pulling the duct tape off Tony's mouth. "Thank God you guys saved me! I thought it was going to be like in that movie –"

"Shut up Tony, or I will put this duct tape back on your mouth and leave you here like this." Ziva glared at him and pulled out her knife.

McGee, who hadn't said anything before, spoke up, "You know, Tony, this situation could have its advantages."

"Shut up, McGrin-face." Tony sent daggers his way as Ziva started to uncut the strings.

"So, Tony, how exactly did you, well, get in this…predicament?" Ziva looked down to hide her smirk.

"Well, I think I angered my date a little last night….well, erm, this morning." Tony put his head down in apparent shame and lack of confidence.

McGee grinned and took out his cell phone to call Gibbs.

"Hey, Boss."

"_Where's Tony?"_

"His apartment. We found him tied up on his bed."

"_Why?!"_

"Well, it appears he broke rule nine."

"_He forgot his knife?!"_

"Yeah, that, and," McGee looked directly at Tony and smirked, "I think he asked a girl her about her weight on the first date."

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_**Now that you've read, review!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**We LOVE reviews! Seriously, like, we would eat them for breakfast if we could, but we can't, cuz that would be eating paper, and paper isn't good to eat for breakfast...or lunch...or dinner. **_

_**Anyway, REVIEW. Any suggestions? Write them in the reviews.  
**_


	10. Never EVER Bother Gibbs in Interrogation

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, OWN NCIS, ITS CHARACTERS, OR ITS PLOT._**

_EAJP here. I know this has taken a long time to finish. But, it's here! I've been really busy, but, I have finally found time! KWY has been super-ultra-mega-deluxe busy lately with some mandatory science project, but I have tracked her down so she'll be able to comment this time!  
_

_Anywayz...I was wondering..Some of you have suggested **rule eight**, which is cool, but I think I might wanna do a serious oneshot on this -- not my typical "Dinozzo! you can't superglue McGee to that!" type humor. I just wanted to know if you wanted me to do two, my serious one and a funny one =D_

_KWY is HERE...I've been tracked down BY THE AWESOME-EST PARTNER EVER EAJP! (applause here)__. So here is her story in her main field of expertise...I'm just the beta for this one...BUT I still did ONE script haha...yea...just ONE._

___ My science teacher is a...(fill in with any adjective that comes to your mind) so now I have a MANDATORY science project thing to do...and frankly...well bad stuff is going to happen._

**So, this chapter is for pedomellonaminno, bookworm2dance, and Pandagirl66 who suggested these. Read and enjoy! =D**

**

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Rule 22 – Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation.**

"How much longer do you think he'll stare at him, Ziva?" Tony, Ziva, and McGee were standing in the viewing room watching Gibbs interrogate their latest suspect.

"I am not sure. Probably not too much longer." Ziva pulled out her knife and began to trim her nails absentmindedly.

"He looks like he might cry," McGee pointed out.

"They all do, McCrybaby." Tony attempted to slap him in the back of the head, but Ziva came to his rescue.

"Do not hit him on the head when he does not deserve it." She twisted his arm around his back until he yelped and then let go.

"Ow! Ziva!" Tony rubbed arm and glared at her.

"Hey guys, I think Gibbs is going to ask him questions now!" McGee pointed to the scene before them: Gibbs uncrossed his legs and leaned forward on the table, still staring the suspect down.

"Where were you last night?" Gibbs asked in his deathly quiet voice.

"I told you already!" The man exclaimed, clearly angered by Gibbs' nonchalant attitude.

"No, you didn't," Gibbs pointed out.

"You think this guy is gonna live much past tonight?" McGee asked.

"You know," Tony completely disregarded McGee and started to quote a movie, "This reminds me of that old John Wayne f—"

"Do not quote another movie, Special Agent Dinozzo." Director Shepard came strutting in the room with an 'I-mean-business' face on.

"Director!" Ziva exclaimed, smiling slightly. The three agents disregarded the interrogation in front of them and turned to face Jenny.

"I need to speak with Special Agent Gibbs," Jenny said to them.

"Well, uh, um," McGee stuttered since no one else seemed to want to speak up.

"Special Agent McGee, it's not a trick question. In fact, it's not even a question!" Jenny looked impatient.

"Right, well, he's in interrogation. As soon as he's out, we'll let him know." McGee finally composed himself enough to answer.

"I need him _now._"

"Well, we can't interrupt him. It's a rule. Rule twenty-two to be exact," Tony pointed out, earning a nod from the other two agents in the room, as well as the man running the sound.

Jenny shot the sound man a look as if saying, "What do _you_ know?" The look, however went unnoticed by the man since he turned back to his work at the control board.

"Fine then, I'll have to go get him myself, seeing as though you three agents are scared to walk into a room." Jen turned on her heel in a huff and walked out of the room.

McGee gulped as he, Ziva, and Tony looked through the glass as the door to the interrogation room opened and a stern-looking Director walked in. Gibbs ignored her blatantly as he tried to get the suspect to break.

"Special Agent Gibbs, I need to see you now." Jen stood over him until he glared up at her.

"I'm in the middle of something, Director." He continued to glare at her until she spoke.

"I know, but I need to see you _now._ He'll still be here." Jen stalked out the door and Gibbs followed, slamming the door behind him.

In the viewing room, the three agents were staring in shock. "Did the Director just…?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah…She did." Tony answered question. McGee was standing there, too shocked to even speak.

Just as they were about to leave and go back to their desks in the squadroom, the door to the interrogation room was thrown open with a force that made the walls shake. They glanced up and saw Gibbs walk angrily in and threw himself down into the chair.

Within five minutes of glaring, the suspect broke down and confessed and the team headed back to the squadroom once and for all.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"What did I tell you three about interrupting me?!" Gibbs exclaimed as he slammed his coffee cup down on his desk.

"We did not tell her to interrupt you!" Ziva replied.

"As a matter of fact, we even quoted the rule to her," McGee pointed out.

"Yeah, it reminded me of the time in _Tomorrow Never Dies_ where the Admiral just stands there and listens to M and then picks up the phone and orders the missile to launch anyway…" Tony would have continued but a sharp smack on the back of the head from Gibbs quickly shut him up.

Without another word, Gibbs stormed to the stairs and up to the Director's office where the three agents promptly heard the door slam.

"Looks like someone is in for a slap on the arms," Ziva mused somewhat-thoughtfully.

"Slap on the wrists, Ziva, not arms," McGee corrected her as he sat down at his desk.

"Yeah, I don't think he'll be slapping her wrists, though – or her head." Tony laughed as fell back into his chair and kicked his feet up.

"Tony! Get your mind out of the bedroom!" Ziva threw a pen at him like a dart.

"Ah! What Ziva?! Not my problem she broke rule twenty-two."

"Yes, but it will be your fault if you make me kill you." Tony gulped as Ziva pulled out her knife, laughing at the thought of Jen and Gibbs in a stare down.

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**Now that you've read my hopefully awesome fic... REVIEW. Seriously.**

**Gibbs has his coffee, KWY and I have our reviews. Don't deprive us!**

**You know the rest of the drill: If you have any suggestions, please let us know! **

**(KWY HERE~~) YEA YEA WHAT EAJP SAID...though I have my coffee too....0.o...BUT REVIEW AND SUGGEST REVIEW AND SUGGEST REVIEW AND SUGGEST REVIEW AND- **(random dude picks up machine gun and starts shooting) _ratatatatatatatatatatata- _**=.= ..................I hope you guys get the idea...3 xD**


	11. Never Take Anything For Granted

**_DISCLAIMER: PLEASE...DO YOU REALLY THINK I OWN NCIS?! DON'T THINK SO._**

_EAJP here. Here is my serious fic. I know I was sticking to humor...but this one was just begging to be written. Anyway, as I mention in my previous oneshot...if you would like me to write a funny one to go along with this rule...please..let me know =D anyway...READ AND REVIEW!_

**This is for pendomellonaminno and bookworm2dance....Hope you enjoy!! =D**

**

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Rule 8 – Never Take Anything for Granted**

_**Abby:**__ Rule number eight is going to save you, McGee!__  
__**Tony:**__ Never date a co-worker?__  
__**Ziva:**__ Never go anywhere without your knife.__  
__**Tony:**__ I thought that was nine.__  
__**Gibbs:**__ Never take anything for granted._

Rule eight. Gibbs had this rule for a reason, and Tony knew it. Gibbs didn't just make up rules because he felt like it – although it did sometimes feel like that. Rule eight had its place, and that was to make sure everyone never took a think for a granted.

How much had he taken for granted since she came –and left?

He took that evanescent smile of hers for granted – that was for sure. It was the genuine smile that appeared on her face every once and awhile when someone said something that really made her laugh.

And her laugh. Her contagious, doubtful, and sometimes mocking laugh. How many times had he quoted a movie or said something stupid and she would laugh? Probably every day, but he didn't notice – not until now.

He surely took her sense of humor for granted. Even though he hated her jibes at his love life, he missed them now that he couldn't have them.

He missed correcting her on her idioms. He surely took those for granted. Every time she would mix up her "seeing red" for "seeing blue" he would sigh, but now he regretted thinking that it was such a pain.

He missed her willingness for everything. She always wanted to do her job and not let anything hold her back. Maybe she was doing that now for Mossad.

He missed her threats –yes her threats. The "I can kill you eighteen different ways with paperclips" and the "If you do not help me I will kill you right now" didn't ring the squadroom like it used to.

And lastly, he just took _her_ for granted – everything about her. Her ideas, her strength, her wit, her very _presence_ – all of it he selfishly took for granted. Every day as he got ready for work he knew she would be there, sitting at her desk doing work or cleaning her nails with a knife. Now, all he came to face was an empty desk.

As Tony sat there staring blankly at the desk across from him over the top of his personnel files he should be going through, a new resolution came to his mind.

Those thoughts didn't have to be a memory. He could bring her back. He could get a second chance. And if he did get that second chance, he surely would follow rule eight.

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	12. Always Work As a Team

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS. IF I DID, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL THIS STUFF...I WOULD JUST WRITE IT INTO THE SCRIPT._**

_EAJP here. So, I know it seems I update on weekends, but I just had to write this down while it was in my head. Can't wait for Thanksgiving break so I can watch NCIS to my heart's content. I usually don't write fics with Director Vance in them -- It's not that I hate him, it's just I like Jenny better =D I thought it would be funnier to use him though, so that's why Ziva's and agent instead of an officer. ANYWAYZ...  
_

_Question for you: How does everyone like the seventh season of NCIS?! I'm likin' it so far and I can't wait to see next week's show! Lemme know what you think._

KWY: Ooooh haha...I know this is one of my favorites right here...Me and EAJP...we're like that...

**

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Rule 15 – Always Work as a Team**

"There is too much paperwork here!" Ziva David exclaimed as she smacked her computer impatiently, which almost sent it to the floor.

"Ziva, I just replaced your computer from the last time Vance gave us paperwork; please don't break it again," McGee replied without looking up from his computer.

"McGee, you say that one more time and I will come over and shove that keyboard so far up…" Ziva threatened before Gibbs cut her off.

"David! Less talking, more typing!" he snapped as he walked in sans coffee. That wasn't a good sign.

"Yeah guys!" Tony exclaimed smugly, "Be good Probies!"

"Dinozzo, that includes you!" Gibbs barked in return.

"On it, Boss!" Dinozzo mock-saluted and continued typing – probably to one of the girls from legal.

As they were working, Gibbs grumbled something along the lines of, "I would rather work with Fornell for a week then deal with Vance for a day."

They continued working in silence until Gibbs stood up again. "Goin' to see Abby. I'll be back."

As soon as he was out of earshot, Ziva proclaimed, "We should do something to get Vance back for all of this crap we are doing for him."

"Yeah, like what?" Tony asked, suddenly intrigued by this turn of events.

"I am not sure. What do you think McGee?"

"Well, uh… we could...not sure either," McGee looked up but then looked down.

"Come on McGoody-goody! Where's your sense of fun?! We could tee-pee his house!"

"Seriously, Tony? What are you, thirteen?" McGee replied.

"Don't see you comin' up with any ideas, Probie."

"Enough you two!" Ziva exclaimed, "We can always hide under his desk, jump out, tie him up, and hang him over the catwalk for everyone to see."

McGee and Tony stared at her blankly. Of course it would be Ziva who would suggest something so violent.

"What?! Too violent?! We can always replace his toothpicks with metal spikes."

"Ziva, we don't want to necessarily kill him – even though it would be nice," McGee pointed out.

"Yeah, McGoo's right. We can spray paint his car." Tony spun around in his chair a few times.

"Tony, get your mind out of your childhood and into the twenty-first century. We can always ask Abby to photoshop pictures of him like she did to you that time." McGee chuckled at the memory.

"What pictures?" Ziva asked.

"Nothing!" Tony shot back. "Now, why don't we take his toothpicks? It's kind of like Ziva's idea and it's not _that_ bad."

"Agreed."

"Agreed. The Director will not know what smacked him," Ziva said proudly.

"It's hit Ziva, hit," Tony and McGee said simultaneously.

"Same difference yes? Anyway, how are we going to get him out of his office?"

"Get who out of his office, Agent David?" Gibbs came around the corner, followed by Abby – this time with a coffee in his hand.

"Uh, no one."

"Nope, not talking about anyone."

"Getting back to work now."

Gibbs was met with a chorus of answers, but then proceeded to smack each agent on the back of the head.

"Ow! Gibbs, what was that for?!" Ziva yelled.

"For breaking rule seven! Always work as a team. If you three are planning on doing something to Vance, you better let us in on it!" Gibbs replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yeah, what were you thinking?!" Abby said, crossing her arms, "You know I can do anything and not leave forensics evidence!"

"And don't think I didn't want a part in it too!" Ducky said as he walked into the squad room.

McGee, Ziva, and Tony just laughed as they pulled up extra chairs. Gibbs sat down and smirked, "Now, how are we going to repay Leon Vance?"

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	13. We Don't Believe in Coincidences, But

**_DISCLAIMER: STILL DON'T OWN NCIS. DARN._**

_EAJP here. Dunno where KWY is, but I really wanted to update tonight, even though I'm dead tired. This one I wrote since it's Friday the 13th. I know this isn't an official rule, but I always loved this one -- rule or not. Anyway, hope you enjoy!_

_BTW: Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review. I really appreciate seeing your feedback.  
_

**

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Unofficial Rule: We don't believe in coincidences, but we do believe in bad luck.**

"McGee, where is Tony this morning?" Ziva asked. The clock was dangerously approaching 9 o'clock and no one had heard anything from Tony yet.

"Well, uh," McGee stuttered.

"That's a good question, Ziva. It deserves an answer." Gibbs walked in and sat down at his desk.

"I'm not sure, Boss," McGee replied quickly. He proceeded to put his head down and resume his incessant typing.

"He is usually not this late – except if he has a date, then maybe he is…" Ziva trailed off at the end.

"You worried or somethin', David?" Gibbs asked as he stood up.

"No, I am just musing," Ziva fired back a little too defensively. Gibbs raised his eyebrow but said no more on the matter.

"Getting coffee. Tell Dinozzo I'll have his ass if he ever shows up." Without another word, he disappeared into the elevator.

McGee and Ziva settled in a little more to do their work. at exactly 9 o'clock, Tony came skidding into the squad room triumphantly.

"I'm here!!" he proclaimed as he happily threw his things down on his desk.

"Oh really?! I thought you were a hologram!" McGee replied sarcastically, earning a glare from the senior field agent.

"Ah I do not think so – holograms would not wear such a _hideous_ shirt!" Ziva exclaimed. Sure enough, Tony was wearing a very loud Hawaiian shirt instead of his normal button-down.

"It's my Magnum P.I. shirt! Authentic too!" Tony exclaimed. He stared at the other agents expectantly, waiting for them to ask why he was wearing it.

McGee took the bait before Ziva, "Alright, Tony. Why are you wearing that shirt?" He sighed as he realized that he wouldn't be getting any work done any time soon.

"Thank you McSidekick! This morning I overslept because my alarm clock didn't work. then I was running around and realized I didn't have my keys. So, crap! What should I do? Then I remember…it's Friday the thirteenth! So I run into my room and change into my very very lucky Magnum, P.I. shirt."

McGee and Ziva look at each other and share a knowing glance, then look back to Tony so he could finish.

"Anyway, as soon as I put it on, I remembered my keys were in my car, so I get in the car and then, instead of taking 95, I take 78 because I think it will be faster. And wouldn't you know, there was a huge crash on 95 so I actually made it here on time!" Tony smiled and sat down.

"And that is not a coincidence yes?" Ziva asked.

"No, it's not, Zee-vah. We don't believe in them," Tony stated smugly.

"But we do believe in bad luck, right Dinozzo?" Gibbs walked in, his hand almost casually colliding with the back on Tony's head.

"Uh, yeah Boss, that we do." Tony winced and put his head down.

"Well then, I guess your luck just took a turn for the worst." Gibbs smirked and sat down.

"What do you mean, Boss?" Tony asked cautiously.

"You get to take these files to the boys in the Hoover building." Gibbs held up a stack of files for him to take.

"Please, Boss! No! The last time I went there, that secretary attacked me!"

"Goes to show you shouldn't try to play grab-ass with the FBI. Now get out of here while you still have a job." Gibbs turned to face his computer as Tony sulked out of the squad room and into the elevator.

"And, Dinozzo! Change that God-awful shirt you have on!" Ziva and McGee sat laughing, and even Gibbs joined in at the thought of that secretary ripping that shirt right off him.

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**Alright, now that you've read...I welcome your reviews!!! Love hearin' from all of you!!!!**


	14. Best Way to Keep a Secret?

**_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NCIS. I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT. _**

_EAJP here. Took me awhile to write this, but I don't think it's my best. Guess I'm my toughest critic. Hopefully you enjoy it =D_

**********TIVA ALERT! TIVA ALERT! Implied Tiva in the fic and downright Tiva in the little flashback. Ziva could easily be replaced with Kate, so, whichever you prefer ^.^*******

**_This chapter's for bookworm2dance and pedomellonaminno, who suggested this rule. _  
**

**

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Rule 4 -- The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.**

"Hello?" McGee answered his desk phone on a seemingly normal Tuesday. Ziva and Tony were out on assignment and Gibbs was down in autopsy or getting coffee – either one, McGee couldn't really keep track.

"Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!!!! He knows, he knows!" Abby yelled into his ear.

McGee pulled the phone away from his ear as Abby continued to rant. He put it back to listen long enough to hear Abby say, "Oh forget it, I'm coming up."

McGee wondered what Abby was talking about. He shrugged and continued to work after mumbling, "Guess I'll find out soon enough."

Not more than three minutes later, Abby appeared looking very worried.

"What's wrong Abs?" McGee asked.

"That's what I was trying to tell you on the phone!" she exclaimed. "Gibbs knows!"

"Gibbs knows what?"

"About Ziva and Tony!" Abby said exasperatedly.

"Oh no! Who told him?!" McGee's worry matched Abby's as he thought back to how it all started.

_McGee was walking down the street to his favorite café when he saw Tony's car sitting in front of it._

_ "Hmph. That's odd," McGee thought. _

_ Just as he was about to open the door, a glimpse of Tony pressing his lips to Ziva's stopped him dead in his tracks. _

_ He spun around suddenly and practically ran away, all the while dialing his cell phone to call Abby._

"Abby, what happened to rule 4?!" McGee exclaimed.

"I followed it! You to me – that's one other person!"

"Yeah, but then you told Gibbs!"

"I never said that! I told Ducky. You told me the secret, so technically it was my secret to keep. So then I told Ducky, because I could tell another person. I couldn't tell you I told Ducky! _That_ would be breaking the rule! Then Ducky told Gibbs because he could tell one other person!" Abby stopped speaking and caught her breath.

McGee thought about it. For some reason, that made sense.

"Hm, alright," he replied, "Do we tell them?!"

"No because that would be breaking the rule!"

"What would be breaking the rule?" Ziva asked as she set her things down on her desk. Somewhere in the midst of their worrying, Ziva and Tony came back.

"Uh, nothing!" Abby squeaked.

"Didn't sound like nothing," Tony retorted. "Probie! What are you whispering about!"

"Probably about you two breaking rule twelve." Gibbs walked in, both hands extended. Ziva and Tony got headslaps that sounded more as if they were hit with metal bats.

"Uh, what are you –" Gibbs' glare cut him off.

"Elevator. Now." Gibbs pointed and Tony and Ziva both sulked toward it.

_Slap_. Gibbs' hand collided in the back of McGee's head. "Never settle for second best, McGee." With that, he stalked off, ready to do a little more headslapping.

"Second best? What's he talking about?" McGee rubbed the back of his head.

"You didn't _have_ to tell me, Timmy." Abby smiled and gave him a hug, then proceeded to bounce away back to her lab.

* * *

**Alright, hopefully you enjoyed =D Now review!**


	15. Rule 22 PART 2

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS..NOR WILL I EVER**_

_EAJP here. I really can't say I have anything **to** say. So, ENJOY.  
_

*****You can take this as JIBBS if you want. I can't say I wrote it specifically like that; just kinda happened =D*****

**This is for Trancefan and SherryGabs...cause they said they would like to see it =D Hope you enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Rule 22 – Never EVER Bother Gibbs in an Interrogation PART 2 **

_Without another word, Gibbs stormed to the stairs and up to the Director's office where the three agents promptly heard the door slam._

"_Looks like someone is in for a slap on the arms," Ziva mused somewhat-thoughtfully._

"_Slap on the wrists, Ziva, not arms," McGee corrected her as he sat down at his desk._

"_Yeah, I don't think he'll be slapping her wrists, though – or her head." Tony laughed as fell back into his chair and kicked his feet up._

"_Tony! Get your mind out of the bedroom!" Ziva threw a pen at him like a dart._

"_Ah! What Ziva?! Not my problem she broke rule twenty-two."_

"_Yes, but it will be your fault if you make me kill you." Tony gulped as Ziva pulled out her knife, laughing at the thought of Jen and Gibbs in a stare down._

The door to the Director's office flew open and crashed against the wall with a loud _thud_.

"Jethro, seriously. One of these days you are going to break that door, or the wall, or both. I'll make you come in on a Sunday and fix it too." Jenny looked up from her paperwork with a calm (and slightly amused) expression on her face. Apparently she had been expecting him.

For a few minutes, they stood glaring at each other, trying to read each other's faces. Cynthia came scurrying into the doorway of the office, but after taking one look at the scene, shut the door as quickly as Gibbs opened it.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to, _Director, _if I wasn't interrupted in my interrogations."

Jen opened her mouth to protest, but Gibbs quickly cut her off, "And don't even think about blaming my team, because they already ratted you out. They told me that you didn't listen to them."

At this, Jen's face darkened, which Gibbs found amusing. "Just goes to show who they're faithful to."

Jen was ready with a response, "You know, this is _my_ agency. _I _am _your_ superior, which means I'm _their_ superior too. So if you think that _you _can come in here and tell _me_ when I can speak with you, I suggest you walk out the door. And if you think that _you'll_ get under _my _skin by telling me what to do, think again, because I have people twice your pay grade doing that all the time."

At the end of her speech, Jen leaned half way over her desk, glaring. Gibbs, who was still standing in front of it, started to twist his face into his trademark smirk.

"Oh, believe me, _Director; _I don't have to say anything to get under your skin." Gibbs leaned over the other half of her desk.

Jen replied smugly, "And how would you do that?"

"Like this." Gibbs leaned close to her face and pressed his lips roughly against hers. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but by the time he pulled away, Jen seemed breathless. All she could do was stare at him with confusion on her face.

"Now, follow rule twenty-two." With those parting words, Gibbs left the office.

After he left, Jen mumbled to herself smugly, "Guess I'll have to break more of your rules."

After she sat down again, her door once again flew open, "Believe me, I won't do that next time you break a rule. It will be much worse."

* * *

Who knew Gibbs had a bad boy side? He looks like it though I suppose....hahaha. Hot move Gibbs made there...WHOO! -_*KWY_

**Alright, you read it, NOW REVIEW IT! Please?**


	16. Rule 8

**_DISCLAIMER: SADLY, I DO NOT OWN NCIS_**

_EAJP here. KWY is off somewhere, so she won't be commenting. Anyway, I know I did this rule already, but I mentioned that I might do a funny one (because the original one I posted was serious). So, here it is! Oh, and I'm writing a Thanksgiving oneshot (it will be a separate story), but I don't know when I'll be posting it. Just be on the lookout =D  
_

**This is for Pandagirl66, who said it would be nice if I wrote a funny one. **

**On behalf of KWY, she and I would like to wish all of you a VERY VERY VERY happy Thanksgiving! =D**

* * *

**Rule 8 --- Never Take Anything for Granted (Or in this case, "Tony, don't take McGee for granted)  
**

"Morning, McMac-Installer! Gonna hook me up with my new computer today? Or did you already do it?" Tony came into the office with his chest puffed out and his sunglasses still covering his eyes.

"No, Tony, I'm not," McGee replied smugly. Ziva, who was trying to ignore them, started to snicker.

"What are you talking about Probie?!" Tony walked over to stand in front of his desk.

"You have taken me for granted for too long. You have to go one day without me helping you with _anything_." McGee looked up and smiled deviously at Tony.

"Who gave you that dumb idea?" Tony replied angrily.

"I did, Dinozzo. Is there a problem with it?" Gibbs walked in holding his signature cup of coffee.

"Uh, no Boss, but…shutting up now Boss." Tony sat down at his desk like a reprimanded schoolboy.

Gibbs smirked as Tony began to boast, "One day without Probie! I'll make it for sure! I did it before he came, what the difference?"

"Why are you talking like he is not here?" Ziva question as McGee burst into laughter. Even Gibbs cracked a smile.

* * *

An hour later, Tony crashed his own computer. "Hey, McMotherboard! Can you –" He stopped short when he remembered the deal he had with the rest of them this morning.

"Forget already, Tony?" McGee smirked triumphantly.

"No, I was just testing you to see if you remembered," Tony shot back.

"Sure, you were Dinozzo." McGee chuckled and turned back to his work.

"Dinozzo! Pull up the surveillance footage we have on that naval drug ring!" Gibbs walked back in from getting a cup of coffee.

"Uh, ok, Boss. You sure you don't want McGee to do that? I mean, it is his job after all…" Tony sounded sheepish toward the end of the statement.

"Dinozzo, if I wanted McGee to do it, I would have asked him. Am I speaking a different language or something?" Gibbs slapped him on the back of the head for emphasis.

"On it, Boss!" Tony sat down and began trying to figure out how to 'un-crash' his computer, as Gibbs so elegantly put it.

* * *

By lunch time, Tony was going insane. He went down to Abby's lab to see if she could help him.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed as soon as she saw him. She launched herself into his arms, causing him to stumble backward a little.

"Hey Abs." Tony set her back on her feet and plopped down in one of her chairs.

"What's wrong, Tony?!!" Abby picked up on his mood right away.

"I'm goin' insane, Abs! Gibbs is making me go one day without asking McGee to do anything for me! At first, I thought it would be easy, but then my computer crashed and Gibbs wanted me to pull surveillance footage but I couldn't for like, an hour because I had to get my computer fixed!"

"Aw, poor Tony," Abby cooed, "The day's going to be over soon anyway and then you can go home and drink your brains out!"

Tony laughed, "Thanks, Abby. I knew you would be able to cheer me up." He stood up and walked back to the squadroom, where even more work was awaiting him.

* * *

"Five o'clock! Yes! It's over!!!" Tony jumped out of his desk chair and started to do a victory dance around the office, until Ziva stuck her foot out from under her desk and sent him falling to the floor.

"Zee-vah!" Tony exclaimed. McGee and Ziva were laughing.

"Sorry, could not resist. It is what you do in America, right?"

"Well, yeah," McGee said, "It was a good one too."

"Probie, I'm going to—"

"Go home now before you get more paperwork to do," Gibbs finished his sentence for him.

"Yeah, Boss, that was what I was going to do!" Tony grabbed his stuff as the rest of the team headed to the elevator.

Once they were inside the elevator, Tony couldn't help but ask, "Boss, why couldn't I get help from McGee today?"

"Punishment," was Gibbs' simple reply.

"For what?" Tony ask, perplexed.

"Breaking rule eight." As Gibbs said it, he, Ziva, and McGee all reached out and gave him a good slap on the back of the head.

* * *

**Alright, alright, you read it, didn't ya? Now review it! Please?**


	17. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**THIS IS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**Dear readers,**

**I have finally submitted to writing an author's note as a chapter. I normally wouldn't do this, but if any of you have been wondering where I've been (although I suspect you have moved on to other fics by now), writer's block overcame me, as did time. **

**Anyway, I'll be getting two more chapters out in this collection and then I'll be taking a hiatus until another rule is revealed. Thanks for taking the time to read!**

**Yours in fanfic,**

**EAJP**


	18. Never Involve Lawyers

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. I'm SORRY it took so long to update! first, I took the unexpected hiatus, then add in a few conveniently headaches and getting a cold, and I haven't been able to get this out as quick as I thought. Anyway, I'll be doing one more, and then I'll be taking another break until another rule comes out. Read and enjoy!_

_**

* * *

Rule #13:**_ _Never, ever involve a lawyer. _

"Morning, Boss!" Dinozzo said, walking into the squad room the morning after their last case (which happened to involve an alleged dirty bomb that was going to destroy all of Washington). Gibbs glanced up, narrowed his eyes, nodded slightly, and looked down again. Of course he was the last one in, seeing as though Ziva and McGee were already at their desks working.

Eventually Dinozzo sat down and began to work, too. Gibbs however, couldn't do anything. He just couldn't shake off what happened last night. "Goin' for coffee," he said, standing up in his usual abrupt manner. No one made any objections, not that they could – he was to the elevator by the time they looked up.

"There is something the matter with Gibbs," Ziva said, narrowing her eyes at nothing in particular.

"How would _you_ know?" Tony said, kicking his feet up when he was sure that Gibbs was safely on his way to his coffee shop.

"He just is not right," she replied.

"He seems fine to me," McGee mused, "He's his same grumpy, coffee-drinking self."

"You are missing the point!" was Ziva's exasperated reply, "Ever since that lawyer woman came here he has been more closed off than usual!"

"Gibbs is always closed off Zee-vah!" Tony replied, chucking a wad of paper at her.

Ziva snatched the paper out of the air and whipped it back at him. "Yes, but he has been _more _closed off. It is like something is biting at him."

McGee glanced up at her and didn't miss a beat, "It's _eating_ at him, Ziva."

"See! McGee agrees with me!" McGee was going to open his mouth to explain, but he didn't feel like getting in the middle of the argument.

"You don't think he has something going on with that lawyer do you?" Tony asked eagerly.

"How would I know? I say something is bothering Gibbs, and immediately your mind goes to the sex place!"

"What? You said that he could be bothered about the lawyer!" Tony threw his hands up.

"You are hopeless," Ziva said as she threw a knife at the wall behind his head and grinned evilly. Tony gulped. He hoped the coffee run didn't take Gibbs too long.

_**NCIS**_

Gibbs made his way back to the elevator with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. As he stood waiting for the elevator to come, he couldn't help but feel frustrated. He thought the fresh air and hot coffee would help him to clear his head, but really all it did was distract him temporarily – and frustrate him even more. How hard is it to get an order for black coffee right anyway?!

The elevator finally arrived and Gibbs glared at the few people who scurried off it. After all, no one gets between Gibbs and his office. He stepped in and jabbed the 'floor two' button.

As quick as the elevator started to move, Gibbs angrily threw the 'emergency off' switch down. He couldn't face the squad room yet.

Sighing aloud, Gibbs ran a hand over his face and rolled his neck around a few times. He had been trying to avoid his thoughts for some time now, but he guessed that he had to face them some time.

Gibbs wondered what he had gotten himself into. Ever since that Allison Hart came, he couldn't even focus because he was so worried she would be lurking in the corners. He hated her because she made his job difficult and she was too by the book. He got enough of that from Vance.

She irked him to no end. He knew that she was doing it on purpose, too. She was being an ass to him just because she could – and he hates people like that. She gave him grief for everything he did in the case, and half the time he knew she was doing it just to annoy him.

What bothered Gibbs the most though, was the fact that he didn't do anything to stop her. He didn't go to Vance and ask him to pull some strings, he didn't physically force her out of the building, and he didn't go against her wishes and pull something illegal – and he wasn't even sure why.

At first he blamed not talking to Vance with the fact that he has a reputation to uphold. He blamed not forcing her out of the building on the fact that he would never touch a woman like that. And he blamed not doing something illegal on the fact that he didn't want to get his ass chewed out by Vance for causing legal problems.

He knew the real answer though. He knew that all the other reasons he gave were just excuses so he could hide from the truth. Quite frankly, she challenged him, and he liked it – no, he missed it. Ever since Jenny was snatched away from him, he hadn't had a woman give him a challenge like Allison did. He missed the banter. He missed a woman giving him something to think about. All the women he met were too soft – they gave in too easily. Allison held her own – just like Jenny.

Gibbs knew he had to walk away from her – forget her and never look back; hate her for what she was. But then, he kissed her. That was the biggest mistake of all. He never should of. He never should have crossed that line.

He didn't kiss her because he loved her. He could never love her. He kissed her because he saw Jenny. In that moment, all he saw was her, and he had to do it. He knew it. He would never think that outside the confines of his elevator, but he knew it nonetheless.

Shaking his head and pushing the depressing thoughts aside, he rubbed his face again. What the hell was he going to do now? He kissed her. He didn't like her. She was stubborn. Those were the three things that drug him to the altar in his last three marriages, and Lord knows he didn't need another alimony check.

He would just have to tell her the truth. Or ignore her in his Gibbs-like manner. Or both. Sighing, he decided he was just going to do both, or neither.

He reached toward the 'emergency stop' button just as his cell phone began to ring. Pulling it out, he stared at the number. Allison Hart.

"Talk about 'speak of the devil and she shall appear,'" Gibbs muttered quietly before flipping it open. "Yeah Gibbs."

"_Mr. Gibbs, this is Allison Hart. I know the kiss last night meant nothing and I would just like you to know that I don't mind. You don't have to say anything or do anything. We can be friends – sort of. Goodbye_." _Click. _She hung up.

Gibbs blinked at the phone before smirking and closing it. Tucking it back into his pocket, he let a smile form on his mouth. He got lucky this time – he would never admit that to anyone, but he did and he knew it.

Scowling, he thought of rule thirteen. If he just wouldn't have gotten involved with a lawyer, he wouldn't have wasted the last few days brooding over her. After all, there were a lot more things to ponder over when he was sitting in his basement.

Raising his hand to the back of his head, he gave the back of it a good _smack_. Wincing a little even though he was expecting it, he flipped on the 'emergency stop' button. As the elevator came to life, he frowned upon his own stupidity. He was going to have to start enforcing rule thirteen a lot more – starting with any future dealings with Ms. Allison Hart.

* * *

**Alright, you read it...now REVIEW IT!!!!!! Pretty pretty please with Gibbs and his coffee on top?**


	19. Never Get Personally Involved in a Case

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS.**_

_EAJP here. I'm back from temporary hiatus! Although I didn't go to Mexico, I did go to work on some other stories. But, with the appearance of some new rules, I'll be writing a little bit. Anyway, this isn't as funny as I usually write, but I thought it fit given the circumstances. I hope that you all didn't give up on me...As long as there are rules, I'll be writing about them. Anyway, read and enjoy!_

****FYI: This is set after episode, Obsession (ep. 7.21), and is a continuation of the conversation Gibbs and Tony had.****_  
_

_**

* * *

Rule 10: Never get personally involved in a case.**_

_**Gibbs**__: You okay?_

_**Tony**__: Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case._

_**Gibbs**__: Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with._

"Why do you have it then?" Tony broke the silence that had filled Gibbs' basement for the last half an hour. He was uncertain of Gibbs' response, so he waited with baited breath.

"Have what?" Gibbs stopped sawing the piece of wood in front of him and turned around to face Tony. He was sure that Tony would have drunken himself into a stupor by now judging by how many times he heard him raise the bottle, but maybe Tony had just picked it up to inspect it.

"Rule ten. What's the point in it?"

"Just because you break the rules all the time, Dinozzo, doesn't mean I'm going to get rid of them for you." Gibbs sighed and turned back around.

"I'm not talking about me. I know that I break rules all the time. But you just said that it's the rule you have trouble with the most. Why not get rid of it, if no one – even yourself – can't seem to keep it? It's not like it's the only rule you have. Hell, Boss, you have so many rules, I'm probably breaking one right now."

Dinozzo had a point at that. Everyone on the team – even Abby, Ducky, and Palmer – has let cases personally affect them.

Ziva did when she fell in love with the dead man walking.

McGee did when his sister was accused of murder.

Abby did when she let the man known as Robert King influence her.

Palmer did when he saw a man with a knife and disobeyed Gibbs to get him.

Ducky did with the case where he almost got killed because of a charming woman.

Kate surely did, seeing as though she missed her chance to kill her killer before he got out of control.

So Dinozzo's question was fair: Why have the rule?

"You can't just get rid of things because they make life difficult, Dinozzo."

"Yeah, but it's almost impossible – "

"_Dammit Dinozzo!" _Gibbs threw down his saw and spun to face him again, "I know it's almost impossible to follow that rule. And that's the reason I keep it. It's not a damn rule – it's a reminder. A reminder that things get out of hand when you let this job affect you personally. Sure, we're not always going to be able to keep it, but if we try, then the pain might lessen when we get hurt because of breaking it."

Tony stood in shock. The last time he had heard his boss speak that much was when he wasn't even the boss. And now to come out and say that – if Dinozzo wasn't sitting, he surely would have fallen over.

They lapsed back into silence. Dinozzo poured himself another drink, figuring that he wasn't going to be driving home at this hour anyway. Gibbs continued to sand and saw, falling into his endless rhythm of working until Tony interrupted again.

"You know, it comes with the territory – breaking rule ten, that is. I think that it's a sign you're a good agent. I know you might not feel that way, but I do. It's almost like you're not doing your job if you don't let it personally affect you. Actually, that would be really scary if we didn't let our jobs personally affect us – then I'd be worried that we're all secretly robots." Dinozzo paused to chuckle at the thought.

"Truthfully, I think that's where our sense of duty comes from – our willingness to put our lives on the line to put the bad guys behind bars. If we didn't care, we wouldn't even want to be at NCIS. And, Boss, you might not think that you care, but you do. I know you do because you want the criminals behind bars even more than the rest of us. So I guess, in a way, we always break rule ten – every day we do. Because every day we care enough to come in to fight crime, so every day we're letting it personally affect us." Dinozzo paused to think for a minute, which gave Gibbs enough time to conclude that the alcohol was messing with Tony's head – not to the point where he was drunk, but to the point where there no longer was a mask protecting Dinozzo for everyone else. Gibbs didn't care though, what happened in the basement, stayed in the basement.

"So, if that's the case," Tony continued as thoughtfully as Tony could, "The there are two types of personal affection during the case – the good kind that makes you want to help the victim's family, and the bad kind that makes you do things you might regret. In all honesty, Boss, I picked the wrong one today. I shouldn't have let Dana consume me like that – now she's dead and there's nothing I can do about it. Hell, I didn't even know her, yet I let myself become obsessed with her."

I propose that we change rule ten. Instead of it being, 'Never get personally involved in a case,' it should be 'Never get personally involved in a case the wrong way.'" Dinozzo finally stopped talking and looked at Gibbs.

Gibbs thought for a moment, and then smirked a little. "Even if I did change the rule, you _still_ broke rule ten." Both men laughed at that, and Dinozzo had to admit that he was right. He walked right into that one.

"You're not going to change it, are you?" Tony asked.

"Nope."

Dinozzo laughed again and poured some bourbon into Gibbs' glass. "Oh well, I'm used to breaking rules anyway. What's it matter if I break another one?"

Gibbs raised his glass and clinked it against Tony's. After taking a sip, Gibbs stated, "Rules are meant to be broken, anyway."

"Yeah, that's true. It's ironic – for a man with so many rules, you sure do break them a lot."

Gibbs smirked and gave Dinozzo a headslap, causing him to wince – even though he couldn't disagree. He noted to make another rule some day about not calling people out on breaking rules, but that would be for another time. Right now he wanted to spend some time with his Senior Field Agent in the basement, where the only rule was that you didn't annoy Gibbs – or (after the Abby incident) break anything he was working on.

* * *

**Alright. Let me know what you think...Did you like it?**

**Which rule should I do next? I don't know when I'll get a chance to update, but I promise it'll be soon. Lemme know what I should write!  
**


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